Whatever your hardware requirements, computers, peripherals, Local or
Wide Area Network, data communications, or telecommunications FBN can
provide it, provided you pay 100% up-front. This is not to say the
hardware will perform as promised. FBN has a corporate policy on
promises - If we make them, we don't keep them. But, we still
charge the same price as you would pay for equipment which functions
properly.
FBN can offer the market some very unique
products. Only FBN offers LAST, Large Array of Stale
Technology. Why accept a single piece of equipment which can
easily be situated in a closet or under a desk when FBN can provide a
room full of LAST. LAST will impress all who graze upon it.
LAST will use more power and require more air conditioning. LAST
will allow you to finally hire the MIS manager you always thought you
required. Hurry, as LAST will not last forever.
FBN can offer another unique feature in all our
proposals, TBM. TBM, or Total Buzzword Management, will help you
sell our proposals to management. We can help you baffle them with
a never ending barrage of acronyms and buzzwords. They will be so
intimidated they will dare not admit they have no idea what is being
proposed. How else do you figure we actually sell any LAST
systems.
FBN proudly announces the Web Whacker 2000 which
provides instant remedies for all your Internet connectivity. The
Web Whacker 2000 will Whack hackers, Whack users attempting to download
porn, Whack sexually suggestive Email, Whack Spam, and pretty much solve
all your problems with its patented Whacking system. Nothing can
Whack like the Web Whacker 2000 from FBN.
FBN offers a very unique guarantee, we guarantee most
of the equipment at least some of the time. Actually, we can
guarantee our equipment will not work most of the time. If it does
work, and you are disappointed, just let us know and we will replace it
with defective equipment.